I was alive and I waited, waited
I was alive and I waited for this
Right here, right now
– Jesus Jones, 1990
Being present is one of the most life altering practices I have experienced during my growth journey. When we intentionally focus on the present moment, we can deepen our self-awareness, fight anxiety and cut down on worrying . By not dwelling in the past, nor holding our breath waiting for the future, we free ourselves from the distractions from really knowing ourselves.
We live in a world of alerts, notifications, messages and reminders. We move through life looking forward to the next big thing, and at the same time, we are constantly reminded of the past because of our digitally documented lives. Most of us keep fast-paced, hectic schedules, staying busy as a way to numb our feelings.
“Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry—all forms of fear—are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.” – Eckhart Tolle
Living in the moment helps to keep us grounded and connected to ourselves and everything around us. This practice (and it IS a learned practice), gives us the gift of appreciating life’s simple pleasures. When life feels overwhelming, the ability to pause and focus on our breath, enables us to create perspective, and stops us from worrying about the past and future.
I often describe myself as a recovering control freak. It was during one of the lowest points in my life that I realized how little control I had on the world around me, and the more I fought for control, the worse I felt.
It has taken me years to stop waiting to be happy, or waiting until I had enough money, or had the right experience to feel accomplished. The present moment is really the only thing we can control. The here and now – being mindful about what is happening right this second.
Meditation, yoga, breath work, even extensive psychotherapy are avenues to teach us to become more present, but here are some simple steps as a place to start:
5 Steps for Being Present
- Stop, pause what you are doing, and take 3 deep breaths
- Look at your surroundings, focus on one thing at a time
- Take note of how you feel in this exact moment and name your feelings… anxious? calm? fearful? happy? content? sad? angry?
- Find 2 things you are grateful for, in this specific moment.
- Give yourself grace – you are a living breathing miracle and no one can take that away from you.
It has taken my dad much of his life to become introspective, but one of his favorite quotes late in life is “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present” (Alice Morse Earle) and I think that is a lovely way to move through the world.
